“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.” 1 Samuel 1:27 (Hannah’s prayer). I just want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. To anyone playing a significant role as a nurturer, advocate, mentor, or anyone who is giving precious time, teaching discernment and responsibility, giving hope, showing faith, instilling trust and values, spreading laughter, encouraging dreams, praying for, crying about, caring always, continually guiding and providing direction, and simply doing the best you can with what you have, or even just barely making it through but you press on because you know someone is counting on you to be his or her role model….here’s to you. Keep doing what you are doing. You are making a difference and your brave efforts will not go unnoticed.
I know we all have stories about how we came to be blessed with our children, but this verse in particular remind me how blessed I am to have Annabelle. It did take almost four years for her to make her entrance into the world. Countless months of fertility drugs, multiple surgeries, a miscarriage and finally me just throwing my hands into the air and giving in to letting God take over… I was done trying. After almost a year off drugs I decided I was ready once again to go back on them so I made an appointment with my doctor to start the fertility drug process again. The Saturday before the Monday appointment I realized I’d been feeling sick and a quick check of the calendar revealed I was “late”… so I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. There were many poignant moments along the way of my pregnancy with Anna but this day was the day I felt God had answered my cry. An ultrasound two weeks later showed a peanut beating inside me and it replaced the emptiness I held from a year prior when we were in that same office getting an ultrasound for the same reason with the opposite outcome. I believe that sorrowful day I had to tell my heart to start beating again. But God is good always.
These days I’m amazed by the wonderful daughter He has entrusted to me. Annabelle often talks about her love for animals and wants to be a vet or a zookeeper or own a pet shop but I see a bigger calling for her. Ever since kindergarten she’s had an attentive kindness for people with special needs. There was one boy in her classroom that first year in school her teacher would specifically sit next to her… at parent teacher conferences she explained Annabelle was the only one Matthew would listen to and she was the only child who had patience for his disability. Every year since then he has been in her class, until this year when she told me, sadly, he wasn’t attending her school any more and she didn’t know why. I’ve seen her interact with special needs people at the grocery store and restaurants, grinning as she listens to them talk to her. She knows they’re different she just doesn’t know why… but I like those types of people because they’re always so happy and it makes me happy too. I can’t believe this is my kid. In a world that is…well…how it is, I just can’t believe I got this little girl who doesn’t just want to be friendly, but wants to be a friend. Sometimes I worry about how sensitive she is…I know how I am and life has been full of heartbreak for me because of my sensitivity…but it has also been full of joy, blessing, experience, and growth. She will come out of this giving more than she will receive and it will be its own reward. I know because, just trust me I know. She is a fearfully and wonderfully made child of God, and I’m reminded of it everyday…for that I praise the name of Jesus because he heard my cry and answered it when I was ready to take on the task of caring for a life besides my own. I know this full well. Our God is an awesome God.