When I think of everything I’ve been through, I joyfully remind myself that I would do it all over again exactly the same, because all of it made me who I am today. On April 22, 2016, I turned 40 years old!! I cannot believe I’ve been alive 40 years! I cannot believe I survived this long. So here are some words of wisdom from “your mom”:
1. You always have a choice. Even the times in my life I didn’t think i had a choice, deep down I knew I had a choice. Some ways might be more difficult, and we would usually rather take the easy way out…but you always have a choice.
2. You are only responsible for you. It’s more difficult for some than others, but you can’t change people and you can’t worry about what they are thinking. i spent way too much time focusing on people, things and situations that did not get me closer to my goals. Do your best,, be nice, help when you can and then let the chips fall where they may. A better you helps everybody just through example.
3. Someone will always be better than you so stop with the jealousy, it’s a waste. It is. It changes nothing and makes you sad or mean. People are magnificent so accept them for what they contribute and let it spur you to be better you, not to be better than them. Apples can be great and useful for different reasons. Find your useful and help people with it.
4. Time DOES go by very fast. I cannot believe I’ve been alive almost half my life span already. My baby is 10…it’s crazy. Don’t waste your time!!
5. Genetics are not an excuse and nobody believes that not even you. Excuses are all excuses. Some people have to work harder than others. Play the hand you were dealt instead of wishing for a better hand.
6. If you aren’t happy fix it, there’s always a solution. Find it.Long gone are my pity party days. I do get upset about things for a minute, but after a good cry I suck it up and start to devise a plan. I always can find a solution because I am a problem solver. Repeat that until is sticks. It will get you through tough times because it forces YOU to find a way. You can be your own white knight!! You got this!
7. Kindness cures almost everything. It does. Doing something for someone else takes your mind off your problems and releases feel good endorphins. If you are struggling, take a break to practice a random act of kindness and then maybe the solution will come to you when you are more receptive and in a better state of mind.
️8. If you don’t believe in a higher power you will be carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders most days and you will waste a ton of time trying to figure out why things this or that. I could not do anything without my faith. Knowing ultimately my life is in God’s hands and this life is not all there is gives me peace I could never get from anywhere else. “I know the plans I have for you”…and it’s a promise of good plans. That’s strength and hope for tomorrow and grace and peach for today.
9. You can only raise your children once. I am really trying to focus on Anna and what kind of days we are creating together and what kind of person I am building with her. My job as a parent isn’t to make her happy it”s to raise a healthy productive member of society. There is much greater joy and satisfaction in a job well done than anything selfish I could be doing or wanting. My priorities are focused on bettering myself and our life for us both. There are no do overs with children. I want to get it right. I’ve got one arrow to shoot and if I miss the target I don’t get a second chance.
10. Focus on your goals because you can have or do anything you are willing to sacrifice and prioritize for. Anything!! Anything. I am living proof of this right now. Everything I’ve worked for I’ve received. It’s been a ton of struggle, tears, trial and error, but in the end the journey and the spoils have all been mine.
11. Let it go. The one I struggle with the most. You can’t undo things. You can’t fix everyone. You have to find discernment for the things that need your attention. Prioritize. Ask yourself if it’s worth your attention, arguing about, if the person is of importance to you, and what are the benefits or negatives of getting involved. Most conflicts are not worth engaging. Pray for people because they are hurting and be happy you aren’t in their shoes. Let it go.
️12. Love yourself really hard as best you know how until you believe it and learn to do it right. God created everyone as his child. Hating anything about you, especially what you can’t change is a waste. Focus on your strengths. Tell yourself every day that you are beautiful. There is at least one person in your life who can’t live without you. You are awesome.
13. You deserve whatever you allow. I’ve done this before plenty of times too. You cannot complain about what you let happen and refuse to change. You behavior is SO powerful!! You are stronger than you think. Use it for good and good things will follow.
14. Give. It is in giving that we receive. Even if you don’t really get anything except satisfaction, that is really enough to the sincere giver. It could be as little as a compliment to a stranger. Try it and see how your day gets better.
15. The people who say you can’t change the world are the people who are afraid they can’t. Do not listen to the naysayers they are scared. Be brave and trust that you know whats best for you! Nothing ventured nothing gained is about the saddest truth there is. You don’t want regrets because of someone else’s lack of support.
16. Do everything that scares you that isn’t stupid. Life is about bettering yourself and creating that resume of accomplishments. Whatever is important to you
17. Think about what you want to be known for or remembered as and be that person every chance you get. Even if you aren’t where you want to be, act the part. Then, when you get there no one will question how you did or who you are.
18. Eat the cake but also eat the broccoli. It’s called balance. This is living. You gotta figure out what yours is.
19. You decide your worth. It’s like anything really, everyone will buy something on sale, but only those who really want something will pay full price. I’s okay. Life isn’t a popularity contest so limit you and your time to those willing to pay for value and appreciate their investment.
20. Look people in the eye. This is how you get truth. This is how you portray honesty. It shows confidence. It shows attention. It’s what real adults do when they care about the eyes they are looking into. People need this and it’s very easy to give. It tells them immediately who you are it let’s you see who they are and it tells that they are a valued as your equal. Eyes really are the window to the soul.
I am very grateful for my life and the numerous opportunities I’ve had to grow and learn and give. God is good and his blessings are countless and amazing. Here’s to another 40, or so. Thanks for walking with me.